2022-12-07 Wed 10:51 AM ![[moses_full-body_view_film_still_of_Live-action_film_about_a_boy_14cbf669-9f67-469d-b6f8-013252844e4d.png]] One of [[Phil Stutz's "Tools" model]]. Quotes are from [[Ref. Phil Stutz and Barry Michels 2012 - The Tools - 5 tools to help you find courage, creativity, and willpower]]. It's human nature to want to avoid pain. To be afraid of pain. But very often the things that we want are risky to get. We have to risk the pain of rejection, loss, embarrassment, etc if we want to have any chance of getting them. Instead we often choose not to. We stay stuck in the comfort zone. ![[Pasted image 20221207113305.png]] We can see this fear of pain as a phobia: it's irrational, it's a fear that exceeds the actual danger posed by the situation. Such a fear becomes itself the problem. The fear is what hurts us, rather than the thing feared. The only thing to fear here is the fear itself. According to Stutz, this tool is a way to get out of that — a way to "master the fear of pain." You do it by transmuting the fear of pain into a desire for pain. > **The Reversal of Desire** > > See the pain appear in front of you as a cloud. Scream silently at the cloud, “BRING IT ON!” Feel an intense desire for the pain to move you into the cloud. > > Scream silently, “I LOVE PAIN!” as you keep moving forward. Go so deeply into the pain you’re at one with it. > > You will feel the cloud spit you out and close behind you. Say inwardly with conviction, “PAIN SETS ME FREE!” As you leave the cloud, feel yourself propelled forward into a realm of pure light. > Learn to go through the three steps quickly but intensely. Don’t just do it once. Repeat the steps over and over until you feel you’ve thoroughly converted all the pain to energy. You can remember each step by the phrase that goes with it. > 1. “Bring it on.” > 2. “I love pain.” > 3. “Pain sets me free.” > Now it should be clear why we call the tool the Reversal of Desire. You’ve taken your normal desire to avoid pain and reversed it into a desire to face it. The story given in the book is of a star runningback that Phil knew in high school. The kid confided in scrawny Phil that his success wasn't due to being bigger, faster, stronger, etc. It was due to his attitude towards pain. All runningbacks are afraid of getting hit. This kid would start each game by running straight at a defender — resulting in a huge collision. After that he was awake. He had experienced the worst. (Not mentioned: this probably scared the shit out of the other kids.) > If you go right for the pain, you develop superpowers. Reminds me of a friend of mine who, in order to get comfortable talking to girls at bars, would begin the night by approaching the most unapproachable set of women, almost certainly crashing and burning, and then telling himself, "All right. That was the worst that could happen." I did this with him a few times, and it's true: superpowers lay on the other side.