Playing on winnings

One thing that doesn’t make any practical sense is to be physically present at an event whose purpose is fun, but to be angsty, stressed, resistant, or otherwise not present. But sometimes it’s not so easy to do the rational thing, and either start to enjoy or else to physically leave.

For example: this weekend I’m at a festival on a boat with a bunch of good friends. I love all those things. But I notice myself worrying. Sometimes it’s a vague unspecified worry, and sometimes it’s a more specific resistance to a particular thing that’s happening.

The goal is to get myself into a state of mind that isn’t optimizing, but rather is simply enjoying. I want to be off duty. Not needing to do anything. To do that, I’m experimenting with a state of mind that feels like the weekend has already exceeded expectations. Everything else is bonus. I’m playing on winnings.

So far, pretty good results.

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